For the Feminine, by the Feminine

by Lindsay Kay

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  • T-Shirt/Apparel

    Beautiful screen-printed long sleeved shirt featuring illustrated album artwork and sleeve detailing. Designed by Theresa Baxter. Screen printed by LA local, female-owned business. Limited edition - 125 available.
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    Beautiful hand numbered poster. Signed by Lindsay. Designed by Theresa Baxter. Limited edition - 120 available.
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    Beautiful screen-printed canvas tote bag featuring rose artwork on one side and Lindsay Kay album artwork on the other. Designed by Theresa Baxter. Limited edition - 120 available.
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1.
03:29
2.
04:09
3.
05:25
4.
04:59
5.
03:04
6.
03:31
7.
8.
04:12

about

An 8 song concept album centering around themes of femininity and womanhood, written and produced by Canadian singer-songwriter Lindsay Kay. The album was made top to bottom by an entirely female-identifying team. Every role, from studio musicians to engineers to album artwork design to mastering to PR, was filled by a woman. The album explores themes of seeking faith, the ways in which women make themselves small to make space for the male counterparts, toxic masculinity, the goddess-like power in being a feminine being, consent, and more.

credits

released October 5, 2018

ALL SONGS WRITTEN BY - Lindsay "Kay" Kupser (except "Lush Life" written by Billy Strayhorn)

PRODUCED BY – Lindsay “Kay” Kupser
ENGINEERED & MIXED BY – Lynne Earls
MASTERED BY – Sarah Register
ASSISTANT ENGINEERED BY – Liz Robson & Jules Everson
RECORDED AT – Paramount Recording Studios, Hollywood, CA
& EMP Studios, Valley Village, CA

PHOTOGRAPHY BY – Anastasia Lebedeva
ART DIRECTED BY – Lindsay “Kay” Kupser
COVER AND LINER NOTES DESIGNED BY – Lindsay “Kay” Kupser
ADDITIONAL DESIGN & FORMATTING BY – Theresa Baxter
PHOTOSHOOT ASSISTANTS – Rebecca Reinhart & Anna Yulina
STUDIO PHOTOGRAPHY BY – Tiggy Ara

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Track Name: Sunday
I waited in line
and when I got
to the front
I bowed my head
and crossed my arms
no blood no body
I’m a sinner
and everyone could see
my lovers
would be proud of me

He touched my forehead
whispered words into his hands
he blessed me there instead
I was there to seek
but I still felt
so far from God
when I took my seat

Sunday, Sunday
the congregation sings their songs
I don’t know the words
I pray, I pray
for selfish things
for selfish things

I should have confessed
I had my sins
I had my chance
but I was scared to death
I’ve done foolish things
their burden is so heavy
and I want them off of me

Sunday, Sunday
Gazing out the painted glass
sitting in my pew
I pray, I pray
but I don’t know to who
Track Name: Too
I’ve made myself smaller
shrunk my body to make space for you
but I need space too, I need space too
I need space to move

I’ve made myself quiet
silenced every thought that wasn’t soft
but I have anger, I have anger
I have anger too 

I’m wasting away for you
Everything it’s all for you
And that’s what you want isn’t it?
Take my body, take my spirit too 

I became a piece of meat
to give you something good to eat
but I feel hunger, I feel hunger
I feel hunger too

Painted on this perfect face
ugly women have no place
but I get tired, I get tired
I get tired too 

I’m wasting away for you
Everything it’s all for you
And that’s what you want, isn’t it?
Take my body, take my spirit
And that’s what you want isn’t it?
You take our bodies, want our spirits too
 
You’ll bring me back from the dead
just to kill me again 

I held back my own tears
bottled up my pain to comfort you
but I need comfort, I need comfort
I need comfort too

I wore white most everyday
because you say it suits my grace
I’m not your virgin
not your angel
not your silent muse
Track Name: Clean & Fair
Oh my god
I was so in love with you and now I’m not
Get in the shower with me
Wash these feelings off of me

I can’t sleep
I just lay awake at night praying for release
Get in the shower with me
Wash exhaustion off of me

While you dream
I search your face and envy
how you sleep so deep and sure

Desperately
I try to find the will to sacrifice
I had before

I feel pain
every time you touch me
every time you say my name
Get in the shower with me
Wash resentment off of me

Let me wash your hair
I will take such care
I will leave you clean and fair

I can’t breathe
I am trapped beneath the pedestal
you built for me
get in the shower with me
wash devotion off of me
please, please

When love was new
You hung my drawings on the walls
and said they looked like truth
now I draw you
with every line appears a face
I’m less connected to

Let me wash your hair
I will take such care
you can lay me bare
and say your final prayer
kiss my lonely mouth
and make love to my doubts
then I will leave you clean and fair

You ask why
It never occurred to you
that I could change my mind
Get in the shower with me
then dry me off and leave me be
Track Name: How Much
Turned on its side
my view of you leaving my life
I loved you so, but no I couldn’t be your wife

My beautiful once perfect man
perfect no more
and now my cheek is pressed against
the cold bathroom floor 

And I can’t get up, because when I do
you will be gone, and I will miss you

How much of a man do I need men to be?
How much of a man do I need men to be?

Hands rough and strong
you used them right, I felt them wrong
Teeth sharp and straight
you bit my skin then made me wait 
You wore the watch, so you kept the time
you held me close, and I told you lies

How much of a man do I need men to be?
How much of a man do I need men to be?

Wrong for me, belong to me

You showed me love with diamonds and gold
but luxury things just make me feel old
lust and desire, they laugh and they taunt
'cause you were the man they told me to want

How much of a man do I need men to be?
How much of a man do I need men to be?
How much of a man do I need men to be?
How much of a man did I need you to be?
Track Name: Invited
Don’t press your lips to the hollow of my throat unless you’ve been invited
Don’t rest your hand in the curve of my back unless you’ve been invited

Just because you want me
doesn’t mean you can have me
no, you can’t have me

Don’t pull me close and make me feel dirty unless you’ve been invited
Don’t kill my name to call me your baby unless you’ve been invited

Just because you adore me
doesn’t mean that I love you
no, I don’t love you
no, look what you’ve put me through

Don’t stroke my hair or breathe in its sweetness unless you’ve been invited
Don’t whisper yes in my ear from behind me unless you’ve been invited

You demand my time
you commandeer my space
but you can’t have the smile
withheld from my face

Don’t use your eyes to devour my body unless you’ve been invited
Don’t take this dress off of my beautiful body unless you’ve been invited 

Don’t touch me I’m free, I’m free 
Track Name: Worship Me
My lips are full, my skin is soft
my hair is blonde, and my breasts are ripe
My legs are long, my cheeks are pink
my eyes are wide, and my touch is fire
Get down on your knees, worship me
Beg me, beg me please, my love isn’t free 

You want a piece, you want a piece
you want a big, big piece of me
You want to live your fantasies
you want to find belief in me 
Get down on your knees, worship me
Tell me what you see, bask in my glory 

Tell me what you see, bask in my glory
Beg me, beg me please
My love isn’t free 

You'd love to bathe me tenderly
run holy water down my spine
You’d better pray, go pray to god
ask for his help to taste this wine 
Get down on your knees, worship me
Lay down at my feet, cleanse yourself for me

Lay down at my feet, cleanse yourself for me
Beg me, beg me please
My love isn’t free 

My lips are full, my skin is soft
my hair is blonde, and my breasts are ripe
I have a strength you’ll never know
I hold your life between my thighs 
Get down on your knees, worship me
I’m the air you breathe, you belong to me
Track Name: I Would Love To
Don’t you think I’d love to rest?
Close my eyes and sleep again?
But I’m awake now, and I can’t unsee
all of the rope I had wrapped around me
but I would love to

Don’t you think I’d love some peace?
I’ve been fighting tirelessly!
To lower my fists and unclench my hands
to take a deep breath and feel good again
yes, I would love to

Don’t you think I’d love to trust?
Surrender myself to love?
If I could be held without second thoughts
without any fear that he’ll take what he wants
To feel a man’s arms around my body without questioning
if I’m truly free
I would love to

Don’t you think I’d love to cry?
To let someone dry my eyes?
But there’s no one here, I’m all by myself
and sadness can’t hurt if it isn’t felt
And so I turn to anger instead
I left behind blue and now I see red
But I can’t keep up with anger’s demands
I’m becoming as weak as they say I am
I would love to
ooh… I would love to rest
Track Name: Lush Life
I used to visit all the very gay places, those come what may places
where one relaxes on the axis of the wheel of life
to get the feel of life from jazz and cocktails

The girls I knew had sad and sullen gray faces with distant gay traces
that used to be there you could see where they'd been washed away
by too many through the day
twelve o'clock tales

Then you came along with your siren song to tempt me to madness!
I thought for a while that your poignant smile
was tinged with the sadness of a great love for me
Yes, I was wrong again, I was wrong

Life is lonely again, and only last year everything seemed so sure
Now life is awful again, a troughful of hearts could only be a bore
A week in Paris should ease the bite of it
All I care is to smile in spite of it

I'll forget you I will, while yet you are still burning inside my brain
Romance is mush stifling those who strive
I'll live a lush life in some small dive

And there I'll be while I rot with the rest of
those whose lives are lonely, too